Here I come

Lookout world, here i come..

Yesterday I was trying to figure out what it is that is frustrating me about my future...WHY do I not know what I want to do? WHY can't i just start my career now? I am slowly realizing that my future is COMPLETELY in my control. I have the ability to do what I want, and I have the ability to pursue what it is that I WANT to do... so once I find that, shouldn't I take action now?

And thats when it hit me, im gonna take action NOW. why not start young? My dad continuously tells me to THINK BIG, go for BIG THINGS, so why should I settle for the little stuff? Can't I just take that jump and go for it? Can't I be the 1% of college kids who take action at an earlier age than most? So last night I started writing my first book. I figured I should simply just start now, because I have so much I want to express through writing, so why not start young and dream of getting my first book published before the age of twenty? That is my DREAM, after all. To impact people through my words and to make a difference through my experiences along with others. I got really excited the minute I discovered that, and immediately began writing...

Yes, I realize that my writing skills may not be 100% ready to write a book, but I find that my best writing comes out about things that I am truly passionate about. After realizing that I am constantly surrounded by girls dealing with relationship issues and struggles, I decided that that would be the focus of my book. I want to write a book that millions of girls out there can relate to. To be able to do that, I've decided Im going to do a lot of research on different stories of girls that have gone through a lot. Whether it be my friends abusive relationship, my cousins long distance relationship, or even a celebrities accounts on their love life, I want to tell the stories through their eyes and allow other girls to give them feedback and to see that they are not alone. SO many girls deal with the same issues all over the world, and what better way to help them out than by allowing them to read other girls experiences and how they dealt with it. I've already begun to do some research and already have an idea on which girls I want to focus on...I already have an idea of which teachers I want to talk to on campus that will not only support me through this but help me with my research and editing...& even better, I got some great friends to help me out who believe in me. and thats all i need. :) just let girls be TRUE to themselves and be able to read something that can uplift them and that they can really relate to.

I'm just excited that I can take control of my dreams now, and im so anxious to start writing. SO if you know any celebrities I can interview or publishers, lemme know ;) hahaha.


wish me luckk,
ames

Getting Lost

Why is it that when things get extremely busy and crazy we forget to stop and realize what's going on? THe days fly by and are spent with things we may not always love doing, but why do we continue to do them? For me, Im seeing a destination, which is throwing me off course. I'm expecting things to happen NOW and im expecting all my goals to be completed SOON. but what i need to realize is that all this hard work is indeed a process, and you can't have something without working for it.

"in order to get something you've never had, you gotta do something you've never done." with that said, i need to enjoy the process more and feel the improvement, rather than be angry that my goals have not been reached quite yet. I keep telling myself they will be, yet rather than drilling that in my head, I need to simply let it happen. Let God do what he does best, and let whatever happens happen for a reason.

So many times I find myself doing things and I ask myself, why am i doing this? How will this ever make a difference?

Just gotta keep on keepin on....

can't wait for santa barbara this weekend, home makes everything feel better :)

love,
amers

Sunny Orange County

It's sooo nice outside, as I am again reminded of how lucky I am to live in such a beautiful place. It's not like santa barbara, but it comes close enough. It's finally beginning to get warmer again (although the weekend forecast is rain)...but we'll see how that goes! It's getting hard to focus in class when you look outside and you KNOW its 80 degrees and you are NOT at the beach! haha it sucks. But luckily I have hawaii coming up soon, so i cant complain...

Lent starts tomorrow, and my roommate and I are taking it seriously for the first time in our lives. We are both giving up Facebook. It will be hard, we realize that, but we are both concentrating on taking more time out of our day for God. So much of our days are consumed on the computer and it really does take up too much time in our daily lives. So why not try getting more things done for once? And really trying to communicate with others rather than through facebook? And really give up something that we know we indulge too much time into.

I got LOTS on my mind right now...

I guess i just don't feel like writing it all out at the moment. But maybe sooooon.

ALWAYSSS,

amy

January 30th: Night to Remember

Have you ever been doing something one night and just think to yourself: "im never gonna forget this?" Tonight, I had one of those...except even more powerful than that. I'll never be the same after tonight.

I walked into the second night of my church's "Sex, Love, and God" event confused and lost about certain things in my life. I was alongside friends of mine who are struggling through their own things and we all just came tonight feeling broken inside, like something was just not right. We all had our pains and our doubts, but little did we realize what God had planned for us tonight. Sitting down and worshiping alongside my friends and listening to our hilarious pastor talk about love and relationships, I couldn't of asked to be in a better place on a Friday night. (wow, i sound like a nerd? hahaha) At the end of the worship and the speaking, they set up tent like structures in the front of the auditorium. Under all the fabric were people from the church standing ready to pray for anybody that needed it. Worship began and people slowly began to go to the front. I felt like God was pushing me to go up there, yet I couldn't get myself to go up. I had so much I wanted to let go of, but it was holding me back. I was sitting in my chair leaned over with my hands in my face, praying about everything that was on my mind. the minute my friend put her hand on me, tears came rushing down my face. These weren't the types of tears you can hold back and there was no part of me that wanted to hold them back. My friend whispered in my ear to join her under the tents, and I immediately agreed.

As soon as we got there, a girl came up to us 3 and put her arms around us all and asked us what was on our minds. All huddled in a tight circle, we told her what it was that we were struggling with. Arms crossed and heads down, she began to pray for us. These words were not your average prayer. I knew they were coming straight from God because each and everything she said made complete sense to me and all my current thoughts. It was like God was talking it out with me, and putting the words into her mouth. All three of us continued to cry and tears were streaming down our faces, yet we kept our heads down and gripped even tighter to each other. Once she said Amen, we all just stayed in a huddle, crying and not afraid to show it.

Surrounded by college students being prayed for and people worshiping. Can I

just tell you how awesome of a feeling it is to see people just like you going through the same things and realizing that you're not alone. Knowing that God was there tonight & knowing that He is working to fix every single individual in that room that is broken, is pretty powerful stuff. To be able to set every one of us free and to praise him together, not something you get to experience every night. There was so much brokenness in the auditorium, so much tears and pain, but it's amazing how God can heal each and every one of them. We all came out of the auditorium clean and restored, and completely saved.

Tonight i was prayed over, I was held, I was reminded of a God's love that is greater than any other, I was forgiven for the things I've done to steer away from Him, I was listening to God speak to me, I was crying my eyes out, I was praising Him, I was set free, I was alive, and most of all, I was saved. :) saved by a God who is always there, one who is always ready to start fresh and who makes all things new.

....this may sound hilariously cheesy & may just be because im still running on a high from the night, but i know for a fact that im never going to forget the night that i truly felt God talking to me & living through me. My God is mighty to save, and mighty to rescue. It feels great to know that I have a God that loves to stick by me and go through all the tough stuff with me.

"God wants to do more than just forgive, He wants to restore."

Matthew 5:11-12

¹¹"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. ¹²Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

A friend told me this verse yesterday and it really helped me out. I know people have the right to believe whatever it is they want, but why is it that I feel so compelled to share my experiences with my faith in hopes that I can bring more people to God? I hate being so sensitive about my faith and people offending me, I guess it's just because it's so important to me. Some people just believe what they want, and are extremely stubborn about it. But there is one person that I KNOW, absolutely KNOW would benefit from the love of God in their life, and I just wish there was some way I could show them that. I want to be like the person that changed my life in high school and showed me what it's like to live your life for Him. I so badly want others to feel the way I do because it's impacted me in such amazing ways. God has worked in such powerful ways in my life this past year, and it's time I start giving back to Him what he's given to me. I certainly don't have all the answers, I just have the experiences and the true feeling knowing that He's by my side no matter what. Lately I've been struggling between what's right in my eyes and what's really right. Afraid that my views are changing, and afraid that my life isn't going to go as planned. I'm praying that I get back on the right track, and that His guidance will get me through anything.

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
-Philippians 4:13

"Who we are is God's gift to us. Who we become is our gift to God."

sisters

My lovely pledge class on initiation morning, after being named an official GAMMA PHI BETA!

being in a sorority has been the absolute BEST part of chapman university so far. i know what your thinking, amy as a sorority girl? yah, i didnt believe it either. I came in thinking nahh i dont think ill be in one, thats just not me. i decided to go through rush week, just to see what it was like and meet some new girls. boy was i surprised! sororities at chapman are unlike any of the stereotypes you hear. (well, we have some certain ones who seem like it...) no we are not party animals, and no we are not sluts. The minute i stepped into the gamma phi room, and heard the girls seeing their little song about joining, i immediately lit up. these girls were SOOO much fun to be around, and were all so welcoming and genuine, i was totally in love with gamma phi. I went through rush week praying that they would invite me back, and they sure did :)

I have never been so excited to open an envelope. It held my invitation to join the sorority, and i was sooooo excited. over the past few months, I've gained friendships & bonds beyond what i could have imagined. these girls are not just friends, they are sisters. and sisters they will always be. there's something about being sisters with someone, knowing all the same secrets as each other, and loving something both so much, that brings you so close. a sister is ALWAYS there for you, and that kinda bond i know i will cherish for the rest of my life. most of my best friends here at chappy are gamma phi's, and it brought us even closer. going through initiation to know what all our secrets are, made me even more excited to grow with amazing girls for the next 4 years by my side. To help out my community AND have amazing friends? Im so excited about it. and ill be historian this next year, so im already getting involved! To wear my letters, knowing the secret meaning of them, is the best feeling, and i have so much pride for the sorority that is impacting me in ways i couldnt have imagined. so call me a sorority girl if you want, but im absolutely in love with it and im proud to call myself a gamma phi. :D

P-R-I-D-E in the house of GPHIB! :)

love in IIKE,

ames

What would you do?

just a little something to think about...

"what would you do if you knew you could not fail?"

My mom has that up in our kitchen, and every time I see it, I think of something that I really wanna do. But of course its always something extreme and unrealistic. Like when she first put it up, i told her, "I would ask andy roddick to marry me, thats what i would do!!" hahaha. but thinking about, there is so many things on a daily basis that I could apply to this question.

But its actually really interesting to think about...what would you do? and why the heck arent you doing it right now anyway? sure you may fail, but how will you ever know if you dont take a chance? On the surface this concept seems pretty cliche, but ACTUALLY thinking about what you would do, is such a cool feeling. So tomorrow im gonna think of one thing that i would do if i knew it would be a success, and I'm gonna see what happens...

who knows, maybe ill be Mrs. Roddick :)