.

You're the only one who stuck it out last night
The only other one who caught the other line
You're the only one when this world collides
The one that I can't deny

I know for sure...

that when prayers go up,

blessings come down.


I experienced God answering my prayers today and it was such a realization for me. He answers prayers in such amazing ways, ways that aren't always obvious, but always meaningful. I was confused and lost, and He made it clear to me. Just as He always has...

Thank you God for showing me yet again the power of your love and the power of prayer. You keep me strong. You keep me going. You keep me believing. It is because of You that I am living the life I live and surrounded by the people I am so blessed to have met. I will put all my faith in You Lord because only You know what is best for me. Take my life Lord and make it Yours, take complete control. I'm living for You...I love you and need you.

Getting to know ME

I know I haven't written on here in awhile... but don't be fooled, I've been writing more than ever. Everyday between classes I take the time to write and ramble about whatever is on my mind that day. Some days I'll focus on my books that I'm trying to pile together, and other days I'll simply just type what comes to mind. I don't always save what I write and usually it's only to calm me down and allow me to get it all out. There's a lot inside of me that I choose not to share and I choose to keep to me and sometimes it's just amazing to write it all out. Plus it improves my writing skills and allows me to have "me" time and focus on how i'm feeling. I'm trying to focus more on taking care of myself this year and really taking the time to get to know me better. Sounds weird, huh? But I think it's important to slow down in your crazy life and realize what's really going on around you to truly be yourself. I've rid of the people in my life who bring me down, and I've become much closer with those who lift me up. The ones that truly appreciate who I really am and understand me inside and out are the ones I spend the most time with. Freshmen year was an experience that sure I'll never forget, but also a time I learned a lot. I learned from my mistakes, I grew from certain relationships, and I realized what it means to let life fly by without even truly realizing what's going on around you. I didn't feel like I knew who I was my freshmen year. I was a little fish in a big pond and I felt I was constantly trying to be someone that wasn't myself. I was always trying to find my little group and figure out what I was meant to be at Chapman. I didn't stop to realize that I couldn't figure out where I belong without truly getting to know myself and understanding how I'm acting...

So here's to Sophomore year and finally being myself. Here's to spending amazing times with amazing people who I would do absolutely anything for. Here's to a year of involvement on campus and being not only a leader in FCA, but a leader in my sorority as well. Here's to living in a house for the first time in my life with 4 amazing girls. Here's to the classes I truly love. Here's to the memories of late night adventures and road trips to who knows where. Here's to going for my dreams and reaching for what seems impossible. Here's to taking risks and putting myself out there. Here's to taking chances with love and trusting someone who means the world to me. Here's to putting my past behind me and growing each and every day. Here's to erasing negative self esteem out of my life and realizing how truly beautiful I can be. Here's to shining on in everything i put my mind to. Here's to pushing myself and always reaching higher and higher. Here's to my relationship with God and opening my eyes to things around me. Here's to being AMY LOGAN and living my last year as a teenager to the fullest :)


I'd say I'm pretty dang blessed. Love you all <3

Week at Camp

My week at FCA camp was definitely a memorable one and i already can't wait to go back next year.

Each day was the same but completely different in their own ways. First off, I met someone I can truly call one of my best friends and someone I am SOO blessed to have met. We instantly had a connection because of talking beforehand, but from the first night spent together, we had already gotten to know eachother and had so much fun together. She is a true woman of God and made such an impact on me in just a week than I ever thought could be possible :) and the best part is, she will be on my tennis team next year and going to my school and she will be such a great person to have around. After just 2 days spent with her at training, i knew the rest of the week was gonna be awesomee and that God had alot up his sleeve for me...

The day finally came to meet my girls, the 8 high school girls I would be in charge of for the week. Thoughts were running through my head like "oh man they are going to be quiet, they wont talk" or "they are gonna be trouble makers and then ill get in trouble idk what to do". I couldnt imagine that I would actually be leading girls in bible studies and being a role model for them to look up to. I knew that in being a role model I would have to open up to them, to tell them things I don't usually tell people and really have to tell them not only my testimony, but my experiences and ultimately, my mistakes. I was scared outta my mind. Throughout training I kept praying that God would empty me, that all of my fears would be poured out and that He would fill my heart with His words and His thoughts so that I could lead these girls with confidence. I kept telling myself, "I have confidence beyond reason because my confidence lies in Christ." All of the other huddle leaders were such amazing people, I couldn't believe i was surrounded by so many awesome people who were such great college athletes and christians.

As i began to meet my girls, I loved them right off the bat. they were the loud group, the ones who couldn't stop talking haha which of course made me happy because id rather have to shut them up then beg them to say something! My goal was to get to know each of them on a personal level and if that meant pulling them aside and talking to them then that's what i would do! I just wanted to know where they were at spiritually and what I could do to help them through their tough times. Our first huddle was pretty good, I asked them some questions about God based on the chapel that night and they were fairly open about things, but we were really just bonding. I think we spent half an hour the first night just going around the circle and saying things about ourselves and getting extremely hyper off candy haha but it was so much fun and i loved it because they were so close in age to me so i felt like i could just say whatever and we could talk as if we were close friends already. I just loved em soo much already haha.

Each day consisted of morning huddle time bible studies, tennis for 5-6 hours or so, free time, chapel and worship, then night time huddles with the group. I was SOO worn out. Let me tell you, I barely got any sleep because these girls would just talk and talk all night and then we would have to get up at 6:30 to knock on their doors to wake em up. But what was so amazing was that God gave me unlimited energy when I was around them. Yes i was dead tired and couldn't believe I was awake, but whenever I was around the girls, I got such a burst of energy that I could be so outgoing and so peppy while still dead tired. I knew God was giving me this strength and energy and it was an amazing feeling. Maybe I should consider a career in youth ministry? hhmm....

Chapel's were amazing. The pastor was the same guy from my church back at school so that was awesome! THere were so many awesome professional athletes who came to speak and share their testimonies with the kids. THey really had a lot to say and were so inspiring. Michael Chang (professional tennis player) came to hit with us and he was such an awesome guy. ALl the kids went crazy haha. One night at chapel, the last night, the pastor Mike offered a chance for those who had never committed their lives to Christ to stand up and be prayed over and dedicate their lives for the first time in their life. I was soo happy when I saw a few of my girls stand up, I imediately prayed over them and gave them SUCh a big hug, made me so happy that their lives were changed that week. The last night was also about relationships and women being treated with respect and finding men who truly treated them right and who also loved God and were able to place God above anything else in their relationship. Mike had all the guys stand up and pray over the girls, and all of us were BALLING. I don't think iv cried that hard in awhile, it was so awesome to hear 400 guys praying for us girls and praying that we would find guys who truly cared for us and would treat us the way we deserved to be treated. We then got to stand up and pray for the guys, which was an awesome experience as well. I get chills just thinking about it haha. It was amazing to see almost the entire guys side stand up when MIke asked those to stand up who were giving their lives to Christ for the first time. Most of these kids probably came just for the football training or the basketball help, little did they realize they would come out of camp a completely new person. Made me so happy to see that :)

By the last huddle, all my girls had truly opened up. We had all bonded so much and formed such amazing friendships. We were so hyper and having so much fun one of the nights that we lost track of time and barely had time for questions since each of us were laughing so hard at the stories we were telling. Some girls opened up about their mistakes, others opened up about family issues, and others opened up about problems in their relationships and friendships. We were all there for them though, and I hope they walked out feeling stronger about everything. One night I texted my girls saying something like, "I love you guys and I'm so excited about what God has in store for each of you and what He is doing in your lives." A few of the girls responded with 4 page texts saying how much of a role model I have been for them and how much I have changed their lives. I was practically crying reading their texts because to hear someone tell me that I am someone they look up to and hope to become made me realize how blessed I really was to be able to meet them and allow God to use me. It was definitely a highlight of my entire year :)


This week brought me so much closer to God and made me realize so much about the life Ive been living. I now dedicate time in my day to read my bible and pray over what im reading and spend more time in prayer than i ever have before. I now think about my workouts as glorifying God and knowing that He gets all the glory. I now realize that His love can really get me through anythign and that it's truly everlasting. I now realize how greater my life is because of my commitment to Christ and getting closer to Him. I now realize mistakes I've made and how I'm going to go about changing things. I now realize that I will never be in a relationship with a guy who does not have a relationship with God because God is always going to be put first. I now realize how 8 group of high school girls can truly change me :) now come on, how can anyone not believe that God is GREAT???

One more thing.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

soooo true :)
goodnight.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27

"Do you not know that in a race the runners all compete, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win it. Athletes exercise self-control in all things; they do it to receive a perishable wealth, but we an imperishable one. So I do not run aimlessly, nor do I box through beating the air; but I punish my bod and enslave it, so that after proclaiming to others I myself should not be disqualified."

These verses to me can mean a world of things. As im looking over what I will be teaching kids this upcoming week, I can't help but share my thoughts about this verse. Being an athlete and a follower of Jesus Christ, I know that in my "christian" race, I have to run to receive the prize. I'm not going to get to the point unless I work for it, unless I prove that I deserve it. I have to make the effort, similar to sports, you really gotta train to win. Like reaching the next level in my tennis game, it isn't gonna come to me, I have to WORK for it. I have to put in the hours, put myself through mental and physical pain, but accept and believe that i'll get to the point I want to reach. Many try it out, but temptations or false teachings bring them down and they choose not to fight them. How are you ever going to reach a certain point if you think its "too hard" or "i just dont think its possible"??

One thing that really grinds my gears is when people say that christianity is stupid because they don't want someone telling them how to live their life and rules they have to follow. IT IS NOT A SET OF RULES. i just want to yell in their faces and tell them they have no idea what they are missing out on, but that of course wouldn't be the right thing to do haha. I am not living because of what someone is telling me to do, I am choosing to live this way because of a love and power that is so much greater than me. I am so so blessed and God has done such amazing things in my life, why would I turn away from that? why would i not give Him my life and make it His?? Everyday i wonder how much better this world would be if we all believed. if we all had a faith that was so strong, how could anything go wrong? I can tell you one thing, I know my friends lives would be changed, they would be completely new people and I know a few of them that could really use it right about now, but what am i to do? By being an example I can only pray that one day they will get to live out the same things I do, get to experience the feeling of such a love that is so great that it can't be explained. Through my words and actions, I pray everyday that I can be the best living example of Jesus that I can be. Yes, I slip sometimes and I admit I'm not the perfect one, but I can tell when somebody is a christian because of a certain light they have, a certain presence about them that is extremely strong.

I want nothing more than to be with my friends in Heaven. I can't put into words the instant connection I feel with people who share my beliefs, it's like you instantly have so much more in common than you can explain. Some of the best relationships I have shared are with those who are followers because we have so much to talk about, and they can see things through my perspective, and help me base my decisions on that. Not only do they help me see clearly, but they keep me on track. They remind me that God is so good and that He is surrounding me with those who lift me up, something that I constantly need. and for those of my best friends who aren't believers, I see God in each and every one of them. I see Him working in all of their lives and touching them. They say they get lucky sometimes and they say that they just wanna have fun and screw all those rules, but they dont realize that I'm praying for them all the time and I'm watching my prayers being answered. Lifes too short to miss out on a love like His, a love that's everlasting and one that will carry you through anything that is thrown your way.


'Jesus said in Matthew 10:22 that the person who endures to the end shall be saved. You fight to stay in the race. You are fighting against an enemy who wants you to fail. He doesn't want you to finish the race. He does not want you to obtain that crown--the prize. He will do whatever he can to trip you up but you have to be determined and press on.'

Isn't this true in everyday life? There are always things battling against us trying to get us to fail, always something negative that is trying to stop us from achieving things. It isn't going to be easy, life is hard. But God is with you, ALL THE TIME. Whether you choose to believe it or not, He's always gonna be by your side, always picking you up when you fall, and always there to lift you up.

So to all of you who have argued with me about christianity being a set of rules, I'm sorry you feel that way because I'm certainly not living my life because of what somebody else has told me to do. God isn't TELLING me what to do, I'm choosing to follow Him. God will always forgive you and will always accept you for who you are. The relationship I got with the big guy is pretty strong and nobody is gonna come between us, we are tight likee peanut butta and jellyy :) haha


please pray for me as I head to camp tomorrow & pray that I'll touch the kids that I'll be working with in such a way that they can leave camp different then when they arrived <3

RevRun

I'm absolutely obsessed with Reverend Run, and all his words of wisdom on twitter :) i thought id share some of them with you all! hope you like em.


Turn your wounds into wisdom (#dontgiveup!)

The only remedy to Love is more Love.. (#Notregret)

Ladies:::The only way to forget a old love,, is to get a new love

When you lose your laughter you lose your footing! (#behappy!!!)

Happy ppl are the 1's who R on such good terms with themselves that they dont even flinch when ppl try 2 diss

The happiest ppl dont necessarily have the best of everything but they make the most of everything! (#ThankYouJesus!)

When life gives you 100 reasons to cry,, show life you have 1000000000000 reasons to SMILE (#thankfulhappppppy!)

Whether ppl love you or hate u,, ur still on their mind

Prayer in private will make u bold in public (#gotprayer?)

ur NOT passionate if ur not pursuing ur dreams.. the PROOF of passion is pursuit!!!!!!!

NEVER! Give up ur dream! ur only old when ur regrets take the place of ur dreams!! #passion

God gave u talent! We are ALL stars!.... STAR= (S)kills (T)o (A)chieve (R)esults!

ppl who know the least argue the most


Let the weak say I AM STRONG - Joel 3:10 (#speaktheword!)

Make sure you don't look down on anyone unless you're helping them up - J.Jackson

Ladies::: Make SURE ur love life's improving,, not that ur just use to pain

A persons wisdom is shown by how much they can Believe & HOPE!

When a man has lost his laughter,, he is not alive, call him a breathing corpse -Sophocles

You shall be the head & not the tail & u will ALWAYS have the UPPER hand -Deut 28:13 NLT (#Godspromise)

worrying is dumb (#stopit!)

never let losers with their own inner issues come around & dump that crap on u! (#staysuckarfree!)

Ladies:::Crying will not wash ur old lovers away (Letthemgo!!)

life gives to the giver and takes from the taker (#whoareyou)

The world gets out of the way 4 the ppl who know EXACTLY where theyre going!! #organize

Don't be all over the place! Electricity is only organized lightening! Go get em!! (#electrify!)

Hating is the cowards way to show you that you're winning

Happiness is a form of courage -Holbrook Jackson

Im suprised to see how many ppl are so happy with their unhappiness -Coelho

Envy is the art of counting the other fellows blessings instead of your own -(Coffin)

Read scripture daily::: God said it and that settles it!

When u get sad enuff. it hurts bad enuff & u get MAD enuff,, U WILL CHANGE! MAD = (M)ake (A) (D)ifference

Man if u could jus forget about past relationships,, God has sooooo much new... FOR YOU

Here I come

Lookout world, here i come..

Yesterday I was trying to figure out what it is that is frustrating me about my future...WHY do I not know what I want to do? WHY can't i just start my career now? I am slowly realizing that my future is COMPLETELY in my control. I have the ability to do what I want, and I have the ability to pursue what it is that I WANT to do... so once I find that, shouldn't I take action now?

And thats when it hit me, im gonna take action NOW. why not start young? My dad continuously tells me to THINK BIG, go for BIG THINGS, so why should I settle for the little stuff? Can't I just take that jump and go for it? Can't I be the 1% of college kids who take action at an earlier age than most? So last night I started writing my first book. I figured I should simply just start now, because I have so much I want to express through writing, so why not start young and dream of getting my first book published before the age of twenty? That is my DREAM, after all. To impact people through my words and to make a difference through my experiences along with others. I got really excited the minute I discovered that, and immediately began writing...

Yes, I realize that my writing skills may not be 100% ready to write a book, but I find that my best writing comes out about things that I am truly passionate about. After realizing that I am constantly surrounded by girls dealing with relationship issues and struggles, I decided that that would be the focus of my book. I want to write a book that millions of girls out there can relate to. To be able to do that, I've decided Im going to do a lot of research on different stories of girls that have gone through a lot. Whether it be my friends abusive relationship, my cousins long distance relationship, or even a celebrities accounts on their love life, I want to tell the stories through their eyes and allow other girls to give them feedback and to see that they are not alone. SO many girls deal with the same issues all over the world, and what better way to help them out than by allowing them to read other girls experiences and how they dealt with it. I've already begun to do some research and already have an idea on which girls I want to focus on...I already have an idea of which teachers I want to talk to on campus that will not only support me through this but help me with my research and editing...& even better, I got some great friends to help me out who believe in me. and thats all i need. :) just let girls be TRUE to themselves and be able to read something that can uplift them and that they can really relate to.

I'm just excited that I can take control of my dreams now, and im so anxious to start writing. SO if you know any celebrities I can interview or publishers, lemme know ;) hahaha.


wish me luckk,
ames

Getting Lost

Why is it that when things get extremely busy and crazy we forget to stop and realize what's going on? THe days fly by and are spent with things we may not always love doing, but why do we continue to do them? For me, Im seeing a destination, which is throwing me off course. I'm expecting things to happen NOW and im expecting all my goals to be completed SOON. but what i need to realize is that all this hard work is indeed a process, and you can't have something without working for it.

"in order to get something you've never had, you gotta do something you've never done." with that said, i need to enjoy the process more and feel the improvement, rather than be angry that my goals have not been reached quite yet. I keep telling myself they will be, yet rather than drilling that in my head, I need to simply let it happen. Let God do what he does best, and let whatever happens happen for a reason.

So many times I find myself doing things and I ask myself, why am i doing this? How will this ever make a difference?

Just gotta keep on keepin on....

can't wait for santa barbara this weekend, home makes everything feel better :)

love,
amers

Sunny Orange County

It's sooo nice outside, as I am again reminded of how lucky I am to live in such a beautiful place. It's not like santa barbara, but it comes close enough. It's finally beginning to get warmer again (although the weekend forecast is rain)...but we'll see how that goes! It's getting hard to focus in class when you look outside and you KNOW its 80 degrees and you are NOT at the beach! haha it sucks. But luckily I have hawaii coming up soon, so i cant complain...

Lent starts tomorrow, and my roommate and I are taking it seriously for the first time in our lives. We are both giving up Facebook. It will be hard, we realize that, but we are both concentrating on taking more time out of our day for God. So much of our days are consumed on the computer and it really does take up too much time in our daily lives. So why not try getting more things done for once? And really trying to communicate with others rather than through facebook? And really give up something that we know we indulge too much time into.

I got LOTS on my mind right now...

I guess i just don't feel like writing it all out at the moment. But maybe sooooon.

ALWAYSSS,

amy

January 30th: Night to Remember

Have you ever been doing something one night and just think to yourself: "im never gonna forget this?" Tonight, I had one of those...except even more powerful than that. I'll never be the same after tonight.

I walked into the second night of my church's "Sex, Love, and God" event confused and lost about certain things in my life. I was alongside friends of mine who are struggling through their own things and we all just came tonight feeling broken inside, like something was just not right. We all had our pains and our doubts, but little did we realize what God had planned for us tonight. Sitting down and worshiping alongside my friends and listening to our hilarious pastor talk about love and relationships, I couldn't of asked to be in a better place on a Friday night. (wow, i sound like a nerd? hahaha) At the end of the worship and the speaking, they set up tent like structures in the front of the auditorium. Under all the fabric were people from the church standing ready to pray for anybody that needed it. Worship began and people slowly began to go to the front. I felt like God was pushing me to go up there, yet I couldn't get myself to go up. I had so much I wanted to let go of, but it was holding me back. I was sitting in my chair leaned over with my hands in my face, praying about everything that was on my mind. the minute my friend put her hand on me, tears came rushing down my face. These weren't the types of tears you can hold back and there was no part of me that wanted to hold them back. My friend whispered in my ear to join her under the tents, and I immediately agreed.

As soon as we got there, a girl came up to us 3 and put her arms around us all and asked us what was on our minds. All huddled in a tight circle, we told her what it was that we were struggling with. Arms crossed and heads down, she began to pray for us. These words were not your average prayer. I knew they were coming straight from God because each and everything she said made complete sense to me and all my current thoughts. It was like God was talking it out with me, and putting the words into her mouth. All three of us continued to cry and tears were streaming down our faces, yet we kept our heads down and gripped even tighter to each other. Once she said Amen, we all just stayed in a huddle, crying and not afraid to show it.

Surrounded by college students being prayed for and people worshiping. Can I

just tell you how awesome of a feeling it is to see people just like you going through the same things and realizing that you're not alone. Knowing that God was there tonight & knowing that He is working to fix every single individual in that room that is broken, is pretty powerful stuff. To be able to set every one of us free and to praise him together, not something you get to experience every night. There was so much brokenness in the auditorium, so much tears and pain, but it's amazing how God can heal each and every one of them. We all came out of the auditorium clean and restored, and completely saved.

Tonight i was prayed over, I was held, I was reminded of a God's love that is greater than any other, I was forgiven for the things I've done to steer away from Him, I was listening to God speak to me, I was crying my eyes out, I was praising Him, I was set free, I was alive, and most of all, I was saved. :) saved by a God who is always there, one who is always ready to start fresh and who makes all things new.

....this may sound hilariously cheesy & may just be because im still running on a high from the night, but i know for a fact that im never going to forget the night that i truly felt God talking to me & living through me. My God is mighty to save, and mighty to rescue. It feels great to know that I have a God that loves to stick by me and go through all the tough stuff with me.

"God wants to do more than just forgive, He wants to restore."

Matthew 5:11-12

¹¹"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. ¹²Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

A friend told me this verse yesterday and it really helped me out. I know people have the right to believe whatever it is they want, but why is it that I feel so compelled to share my experiences with my faith in hopes that I can bring more people to God? I hate being so sensitive about my faith and people offending me, I guess it's just because it's so important to me. Some people just believe what they want, and are extremely stubborn about it. But there is one person that I KNOW, absolutely KNOW would benefit from the love of God in their life, and I just wish there was some way I could show them that. I want to be like the person that changed my life in high school and showed me what it's like to live your life for Him. I so badly want others to feel the way I do because it's impacted me in such amazing ways. God has worked in such powerful ways in my life this past year, and it's time I start giving back to Him what he's given to me. I certainly don't have all the answers, I just have the experiences and the true feeling knowing that He's by my side no matter what. Lately I've been struggling between what's right in my eyes and what's really right. Afraid that my views are changing, and afraid that my life isn't going to go as planned. I'm praying that I get back on the right track, and that His guidance will get me through anything.

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
-Philippians 4:13

"Who we are is God's gift to us. Who we become is our gift to God."